How to be a good parents

What does it take to be a good parent?”

Introduction

Worldwide nowadays we always heard that being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of our life, but that does not  mean it is easy. No matter what age your child or children are, your work is never done. To be a good parent, you need to know how to make your children feel valued and loved, while teaching them the difference between right and wrong. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to create a nurturing environment where your children feel like they can thrive and develop into confident, independent, and caring adults.

Therefore to be a good parent it takes so many things to be consider with, and of course raising children is not an easy task like what we have promised not only to the world even to our own self because wise always said we sow what we reap and what goes around will come around too.  It is a big responsibility to be a parent and to be good parents us have to choose and deal with that in our own way.

Definition

Good parent can be defined as someone who loves their children unconditionally, communicates openly with their children, is involved in their children’s lives as much as they can be, someone who is there for them when they need someone, someone who teaches good morals and values, someone who shows them right from wrong, strict but not TOO strict

A good parent is somebody who loves their kids and will do anything to protect them. And they set rules and boundaries, and discipline the kids, but still treat them like humans. Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness, says Steinberg. It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve. It helps protect children from developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behavior, and alcohol and drug abuse.

Parent roles

Some wise people always said that parents play a major role in the life of a child. Although, the invention of so many toys and the influence of peers have greatly affected children’s behavior of modern time, parents with good traits can use these influences to mold the personality and behavior of a child for the good. I believe that ideal parents should be of good moral character, good listener and patience.

Parents should have good moral character, because they are the role models of children. It has been known that children are the reflection of their parent’s trait.

For instance, my parents do not smoke, gamble or drink. They express virtue in all their actions. They taught us how to respect to elders, and be sensitive to other people’s feelings all the time. They have been my idol all my life, because they were able to raised six children so well and none of us went astray. 

Furthermore, being a good listener is very important. When parents have time to listen to their children, the communication is open between parties. To illustrate, my brother failed his science subject in school. My parents did not judge or scold him; instead they talked to him and listened to his concerns. They found out that he did not understand his lesson well because of his assigned seat. He was sitting next to an air conditioner, and it bothered him.

Having patience has a lot to do with parenting. Although children behavior gets out of hand sometimes due to certain issues like mood, parents exert extra mile of patience to comfort them with love and care. For example, my sister when she was in her elementary years, she refused to attend school. My mother was always late for work, because of my sister’s action. She would always try to bribe her with something so she would go into class.

Parent Characters

Parenting is a tough job comes with big responsibility. Therefore it is crucial that parents should have outstanding character, a good listener and patience, so that they would have wonderful children. Anyone who provides me with new knowledge or experience can be considered as my teacher. Admittedly, my greatest teachers are my parents. In fact, my parents have played a distinctive and important role in shaping who I am today.

First and foremost, it is parents who teach their children most crucial lessons. Specifically, your first lessons, which are how to eat, to stand, to walk, and to speak are usually given by your parents. These are conspicuously basic but essential to everyone. Besides, almost moral things taught by parents seem to be more important than knowledge given at the school.

 In other word, parents are apparently better than teachers at teaching children how to live in a good and meaningful way, which is most important to one’s life.

Furthermore, parents always want to bring their students the best education that they could. Obviously, some students may not be given the best education that they deserve because of numerous obstacles. Some famous schools refuse poor students, or high-developed societies discriminate black people. Yet, no parents discourage their students in study if they could afford the tuition fee. Moreover, they are even willing to make their best effort to support their children’s education. Understandably, some teachers teach for money, but all parents do for their love.

Give your child love and affection 

Sometimes the best thing you can give your child is love and affection. A warm touch or a caring hug can let your child know how much you really care about him or her. Don't ever overlook how important a physical connection is when it comes to your child. Here are some ways to show love and affection: A gentle cuddle, a little encouragement, appreciation, approval or even a smile can go a long way to boost the confidence and well-being of your children. Tell them you love them every day, no matter how angry at them you may be. Give lots of hugs and some kisses. Make your children comfortable with love and affection from birth. Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what happen.

Praise your children.

Praising your children is an important part of being a good parent. You want your kids to feel proud of their accomplishments and good about themselves. If you don't give them the confidence they need to be out in the world on their own, then they won't feel empowered to be independent or adventurous. When they do something good, let them know that you've noticed and that you're very proud of them. Make a habit of praising your children at least three times as much as you give them negative feedback. Though it's important to tell your children when they're doing something wrong, it's also important to help them build a positive sense of self.

Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings. 

Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instill in each child the desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child an inferiority complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes. If you want to help them improve their behavior, talk about meeting their goals on their own terms, instead of telling them to act like their sister or neighbor. This will help them develop a sense of self instead of having an inferiority complex. Comparing one child to another can also make one child develop a rivalry with his or her sibling. You want to nurture a loving relationship between your children, not a competitive one.

Listen to your children.

 It's important that your communication with your children goes both ways. You shouldn't just be there to enforce rules, but to listen to your children when they are having a problem. You have to be able to express interest in your children and involve yourself in their life. You should create an atmosphere in which your children can come to you with a problem, however large or small. You can even set aside a time to talk to your children every day. This can be before bedtime, at breakfast, or during a walk after school. Treat this time as sacred and avoid checking your phone or getting distracted. If your child says he has to tell you something, make sure you take this seriously and drop everything you're doing, or set up a time to talk when you can really listen.

Make time for your children

Be careful not to stifle or smother them, however. There's a big difference between protecting someone and imprisoning them within your too unyielding demands. You want them to feel like your time together is sacred and special without making them feel like they are forced to spend time with you. Spend time with each child individually. Try to divide your time equally if you have more than one child. Listen and respect your child and respect what they want to do with their life. Set aside a day to go to a park, theme parks, museum or library depending on their interests. Attend school functions. Do homework with them. Visit their teacher at open house to get a sense of how they are doing in school.

Be there for the milestones. 

You may have a hectic work schedule, but you should do everything you can to be there for the important moments in your children's lives, from their ballet recitals to their high school graduation. Remember that children grow fast and that they'll be on their own before you know it. Your boss may or may not remember that you missed that meeting, but your child will most certainly remember that you didn't attend the play they were in. Though you don't have to drop everything for your children, you should at least try to be there for the milestones.

Being a good Disciplinarian

As a good parent we also have to be a good disciplinarian who can bring respect not fear which mean we have to communicate our rules clearly. Children should be very familiar with the consequences of their actions. If you give them a punishment, be sure they understand the reason and the fault; if you cannot articulate the reason and how they are at fault the punishment will not have the discouraging affects you desire.

Also make sure that we are not only set reasonable rules, but that we enforce them reasonably. Avoid overly harsh forms of punishment, ridiculously stringent punishments for minor infractions, or anything that involves physically hurting our child.

Control your temper as much as you can. 

It's important to try to be as calm and reasonable as you can when you explain your rules or carry them out. You want your children to take you seriously, not fear you or think of you as unstable. Obviously, this can be quite a challenge, especially when your children are acting out or just driving you up the wall, but if you feel yourself getting ready to raise your voice, take a break and excuse yourself before you finish talking to your children.

We all lose our tempers and feel out of control, sometimes. If we do or say something we regret, we should apologize to us children, letting them know that we've made a mistake. If we act like the behavior is normal, then they will try to mimic it.

It's important to enforce the same rules all the time, and to resist our child’s attempts to manipulate us into making exceptions. If we let our child do something he or she is not supposed to do just because he or she is throwing a tantrum, then this shows that our rules are breakable. If we find ourselves saying, "Okay, but only just this once..." more than once, and then we have to work on maintaining more consistent rules for your children. If your child feels like your rules are breakable, he'll have no incentive to stick to them.

Be a united front with your spouse.

If you have a spouse, then it's important that your children think of you as a united front — as two people who will both say "yes" or "no" to the same things. If your kids think that their mother will always say yes and their father will say no, then they'll think that one parent is "better" or more easily manipulatable than the other. They should see you and your spouse as a unit so there's order in your high school, and so you don't find yourself in a difficult situation because you and your spouse don't agree on certain things when it comes to raising the kids.

This doesn't mean that you and your house have to agree 100% about everything having to do with the kids. But it does mean that you should work together to solve problems that involve the children, instead of being pitted against each other.

You shouldn't argue with your spouse in front of the children. If they are sleeping, argue quietly. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear parents bickering.

This can help them feel safe and at peace and to live a happy life both in and outside of their home. Here are some ways that you can provide order for your children:

Set boundaries such as bedtimes and curfews, so they learn that they have limitations. By doing so, they actually get a sense of being loved and cared about by their parents. They might rebel at those boundaries, but inwardly enjoy knowing that concerned parents guide and love them.

Encourage responsibility by giving them jobs or "chores" to do and as a reward for those jobs give them some kind of privilege (money, extended curfew, extra play time, etc.). As "punishment" for not doing these jobs, they have the corresponding privilege revoked. Even the youngest of children can learn this concept of reward or consequence. As your child grows, give them more responsibilities and more rewards or consequences for completing those responsibilities or ignoring them.

Criticize your child's behavior, not your child.

 It's important to criticize your children's actions, instead of your actual child. You want your child to learn that he or she can accomplish whatever he or she wants through his or her behavior, instead of being stuck being one kind of person. Let him or her feel like he has the agency to improve his behavior.

When your child acts out in a harmful and spiteful manner, tell him or her that such behavior is unacceptable and suggest alternatives. Avoid statements such as: "You're bad." Instead, say something like, "It was very wrong to be mean to your little sister." Explain why the behavior was bad.

Be assertive yet kind when pointing out what they have done wrong. Be stern and serious, but not cross or mean, when you tell them what you expect. Avoid public humiliation. If they misbehave in public, take them aside, and scold them privately.

Teach your children to be independent.

 Teach your children that it is okay for them to be different, and they do not have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when they are young, and they will (more often than not) be able to make their own decisions, instead of listening to or following others. Remember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them.

Be a good role model. 

If you want your child to be well-behaved, then you should model the behavior and character you hope your children will adopt and continue to live by the rules that you set. Show them by example in addition to verbal explanations. Children have a tendency to become what they see and hear unless they make a conscious and concerted effort to break the mold. You don't have to be a perfect person, but you should strive to do as you want your children to do, so you don't look hypocritical if you tell your children to be polite to others when they find you getting in a heated argument in the supermarket.

Respect your child's privacy. 

Respect their privacy as you would want them to respect yours; for example, if you teach your child that your room is out of boundaries to them, respect the same with their room. Allow them to feel that once they enter their room they can know that no one will look through their drawers, or read their diary. This will teach them to honor their own space and to respect the privacy of others. If your child catches you snooping through his or her things, then it may take him a long time to be able to truly trust you again.

Conclusion

Every parent wishes to be the best parent in the world. But when the life turns into reality, most of the parents fail to remain best parents or at least good parents.

There can't be any specific rules or guidelines for parenting. Parenting is, in fact the interpersonal relationship between parents and children. The depth, intensity or the methods or relationship is highly personal and what works between few parents and children may not be the same for certain parents and children.

 Last but not least, parents find the most effective way of conveying knowledge to their own children. In reality, that a class may hold up to hundreds of students obstructs the teacher from providing individual student with a deep understanding. Meanwhile, my dad usually does not hesitate to help me comprehend an issue until I totally master it. In addition, he always guides me to the shortest and easiest way. Perhaps, he is so closed to me that he knows how to teach me effectively.

To sum up, as a parents are the best teachers who dedicatedly teach you throughout your lifetime and nothing is the best in order to be only by making religion as our way of  life it is easy and simple but to make it reality we have to ask ourselves. As we all know parenting is not a simple task that been given to us by our creator. For parent their love together with their care constitutes their greatest work and the mature and successful we will be its ultimate achievement.